"How many of our friends spend hours hating on their ex and picking apart the women that replaced them? How many of our mothers let their lives stop when our fathers left them? How often do you find yourself referring to someone from your past enough to the point where your friends can finish your sentences because they’ve heard it so many times before? We live in the past because that’s what our present is made up of. I get it. I do it. But it’s time to move on.
He left you. He hated you. He called you crazy. He picked you apart. He slept with his back to you. He cheated. He lied. He forgot your anniversary. He loved someone else more. He ignored you. He never listened. He made you insecure. He broke up the family. He didn’t keep his promise. He changed. He never changed. He stole your best years from you. Well, the worst thing he ever did was take up permanent residency in your thoughts. Some of us still haven’t moved on from the mistakes our dad made. He was the first man we let stop us from moving forward. That’s a long time to hold on to something. It’s also a little creepy. His job was to teach us our manners and scare us out of being late for curfew, not be our example of love from a man."
Recently I've acquired a serious addiction to http://www.hellogiggles.com/. It's inspiring and beneficial to read what these smart, witty women who are all twenty-somethings with similar experiences like me have to share about themselves and the world around them. I first read this article a few weeks ago and continue to go back and re-read it. Each time I read it, a different part screams out to me, but the underlying theme remains the same. Letting go. Specifically letting go of the resentment I hold that's holding me back.
I've had two fathers walk away from me in my 23 (almost 24) years of life. First when I was 4 and second a year ago this summer. That's rough. And I don't want you to think I'm the only victim in this. The strange, ill-composed family I once knew is now shattered. I like to depict myself as a bitter, independent 23 year old woman who relishes in her ability to stay detached from those around her. But, the fact is it's easier to be bitter towards my dads. It's easy to not get hurt if you don't form new relationships with others. It's a lot less scary to stay in my house and watch American Dad reruns.
He was the first man we let stop us from moving forward.
The more I allow my bitterness and anger towards my dads (and others) build up inside of me the more I am holding myself back from connecting to anyone on more than a surface level. And that's super lame and not who I want to be.
http://hellogiggles.com/single-girls-guide-11
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